Couples Therapy
Our lovers and partners; they can evoke the greatest joy and connection in us, and at other times the deepest sadness or most fiery anger. Understanding this mystery, and how to maximize the positive aspects of your relationship, while dealing with the negative, is what I do in couples counseling.
My work with you is not all complex, in fact it is quite practical. I work with couples on their communication skills, setting their own boundaries, asking for what they want before it is a crisis, and making choices that support their relationship rather than undermining it.
The deeper work involves each partner understanding his or her own family-of-origin issues, as well as their partner’s, and seeing how these play out in their current relationship. You probably know these past issues serve as people’s “buttons”, those seemingly small things that get a big emotional reaction. By knowing where each other’s “buttons” are, and dealing with them in a compassionate way, you can often work through a situation rather than getting into a fight.
I use tools and theory from several different marital authors and researchers – John Gottman (Why Marriages Succeed or Fail), Harville Hendrix (Getting the Love You Want) and Lewis Smedes (The Art of Forgiving) and frame it all in family systems theory. I work with couples who are just dating, who are living together, engaged or thinking about it (or stuck) and those who are married.
Some of typical issues couples address in counseling are:
- Conflict
- Communication
- Money & Finances
- Sex & Intimacy
- In-Laws & Extended Family
- Infidelity
- Reconnecting After Parenthood
- Negotiating & Making Decisions
- Balancing Time & Priorities
- Pre-Marital Counseling
- Parenting Concerns
